


Unfinished Avengers Daemon Work

by psychoroach



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Daemons, Gen, Marathon, free therapy, working out differences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 11:09:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15242061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychoroach/pseuds/psychoroach
Summary: Tony and Steve workout their differences with the backdrop of the 4 Deserts Ultramarathon





	Unfinished Avengers Daemon Work

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea to do this, but I didn't exactly lose interest or inspiration, I just wasn't sure where else to go with it. So for now it will remain unfinished. I may go back to it some day if I get inspiration for it.

Most people thought that Steve would be uncomfortable with a lot of things in the future, and those people would be right. There was a lot of things that made Steve uncomfortable, but it was never the things that people expected. He liked a lot of things about the future, especially the opulence of some things. It was nice to be able to accomodate his metabolism without having to worry about a food shortage, and some of the food out there now made the MREs he had in the army seem like...well they never really were the greatest tasting meals, they weren't supposed to be, just to serve as sustenance, but modern food made them even worse. Steve loved to go out in New York and sample all the different restaurants, eating food from different cultures. Another thing he liked was the furniture. At just over six feet tall and around two hundred pounds, Steve was a big guy, plus he had a big daemon. Alma was a boerboel and she took up a lot of space, so Steve had splurged on a massive couch for his apartment in Flatbush. It was almost like a bed. It was a dark grey cotton material, and he could lay down flat two different ways, horizontally or diagonally. He loved it and Alma loved it because she could lounge beside him when he was feeling particularly lazy. 

After the fiasco of what the media had dubbed The Avengers' Civil War (Steve found the term extremely offensive, but a lot of peple tended to not ask him his opinion on things anymore), Steve had thrown down the shield figuratively as well. Once Bucky had been taken back into cryo in Wakanda, and the Accords had been changed, lessened after it was found out that General Ross had been behind the Accords only as a means to control the superheroes of the world (shock that was to Steve, really), Steve found that he was just tired of it. He'd been in a World War, and had immediately gone back into it all after he'd come out of the ice and he just wanted to relax and enjoy a semi-retirement. He'd go back to things if he was truly needed, but he refused to be controlled. He was controlled in the army, controlled by SHIELD, he was done with being controlled. So he settled down in Flatbush and had a normal life. He attended a few classes at Brooklyn College (where he mostly went highly unnoticed or uncared about), volunteered sometimes at the local soup kitchen, and generally spent time wandering the city and getting to know it again. He'd even picked up a job, part time, drawing comics for the Brooklyn Daily Eagle, under a fake name of course, he'd chosen the moniker Chris Roberts. One of his first ones had been a satire about the whole Civil War thing that had gotten rave reviews. In true Steve fashion, the entire thing had been more than a little self-deprecating, a tinge of meanness to it, but he found that it had helped a little bit, in some way, and seeing the positive response to it had been a good thing for him, that people thought the entire incident was as baffling and stupid as he privately thought it had been. 

Steve was enjoying one of his rare off days (off in the sense that he didn't feel like doing anything that meant going out and being somewhat social), lounging around in a pair of threadbare athletic pants he'd gotten from SHIELD once upon a time, and what was now called a wifebeater. He had Alma tucked to his side as he flipped through The Transcendental Murder by Jane Langton. He was engrossed in the first tale of Homer Kelly when there was a sharp rap on the door. He looked over at Alma, raising an eyebrow in a silent 'are we expecting anyone?' When she rolled her eyes at him he huffed out a quiet laugh and put his bookmark in to save his place. It was a dark maroon Gryffindor bookmark that had a gold lion on it and said 'Where dwell the brave at heart, their daring nerve and chivalry set Gryffindor apart'. He'd gotten the Harry Potter books from Natasha, who called him a fucking Gryffindor as she thrust them at him and then told him to 'figure it out' when he'd asked her what that meant. He'd stayed up late more than he'd like to admit to read through the series, enraptured by the story, and when he figured out what Natasha meant he'd laughed and had to admit she had a point. He'd gone out and found an adult sized (Steve sized) Gryffindor shirt and wore it proudly sometimes.

Steve got up from the couch and walked over to the door, peering out of the peephole to see who was there.

"I know you're there, Capsicle, your footfalls aren't that light." Tony called through the door and Steve huffed out a quiet, amused laugh as he opened the door. Tony stood there dressed in a rumpled pale yellow dress shirt with a garish purple tie and dark grey pants. It was...a look. Before Steve could say anything, Tony pushed his way in and looked around in a way Steve couldn't help but find a little judgmental. Tony's African Golden Wolf daemon, Tomoko, walked in behind him and flashed Steve a look that was all apology, but also not as much as he'd ever expect. He understood.

"Tony." Steve closed the door behind them and turned to look at him. "What do I owe the pleasure?" 

"Calm down, I'm not here to fight." Tony waved a hand at him. "I'm not. I'm here on a proposal."

"Where's the ring?" Steve walked over and sat down and noticed Tony didn't make any move to, probably a little intimidated by his couch (or maybe by the large daemon at Steve's side, which easily doubled the weight of Tomoko).

Tony eyed him and shook his head. "No, just..." He waved a hand. "Not that kind of proposal. Although I'm sure the tabloids would have a field day there. Look...things got pretty fucked up between us..."

"That's an understatement, but you did go behind all our backs and work with the man that hunted down Bruce for years like he was a rabid dog." Steve snarked, unable to help himself. Even after months, he still wasn't completely healed from that time period, even if it had been...God just a few days time. Everything had gone completely to shit in less than a week. It hurt to think about. They'd been so happy between the Chitauri invasion and Ultron and then after that it seemed like nothing was the same...

"Wasn't my finer moment, that's for sure." Tony allowed in a way most people would consider glib, but Steve knew him well enough that this was a big thing for Tony to admit, so he kept himself from making any sort of comment, knowing Tony would eventually just shut down and Steve would never find out why he had come. "But like I said, I have a proposal, not that kind of proposal. Things got fucked up between us and...well...I'd like to fix it." 

"Fix it?" Steve blurted out, looking at him skeptically.

"I will allow that I had my hand in some of what happened between us, but you aren't exactly Mr. Innocent in things either." Tony pointed out.

"Tony, Bucky..." Steve started.

Tony waved a hand at him and it almost looked like he was going to dislocate something so Steve went quiet. "No, I know, shut up. I figured out that the footage was doctored. It wasn't Terminator, Manchurian Candidate had nothing to do...he...it's fine, don't mention it." The words came out more like a threat, so Steve nodded. He did want things to be better between them, and was curious as to how Tony thought that could happen. "I think we should do this together." He thrust out a StarkPad that Steve hadn't even realized he was carrying and Steve reached over and took it curiously. He looked at the page that was brought up and read 4 Deserts. He frowned and scrolled through the website, looking it over. Alma leaned over his shoulder and he absently laid his cheek against her head as he read. The concept was four different marathons, one marathon spread over seven days, every three months. The marathons took place in Namibia (dubbed the Sahara Race), Mongolia (the Gobi March), Chile (the Atacama Crossing) and Antarctica (The Last Desert...that wasn't ominous at all). Tents were set up at checkpoints during each marathon for people to get basic medical care, water, and shading to rest for a little while, while people set up tents overnight to sleep in. Most people did it to raise money for charities and the company that put on the marathons donated money to the charity Operation Smile among others. 

Steve looked up at him, frowning. "Tony, you...don't seem like the marathon type." He said as diplomatically as he was able.

"I'm not." Tony said bluntly. "I'd rather rip my arm off actually." 

"Then why are you suggesting this?" Steve waved around the StarkPad and eyed Tony.

He shrugged and looked down at the floor. "Because it'll give us a chance to hash shit out." He offered. 

"We could just do that here." He pointed out.

"It's not the same, it's...this is..." He struggled for a way to put it.

Tomoko spoke up then and Steve marveled (just like he did every time she spoke) at how calm and soft her voice was. She almost reminded Steve of a grandmotherly type. "Steve, not only will this give you a chance to work things out, it'll give you a chance to re-learn how to work as a team without the stress of having to go into battle." She explained in a way Tony was having trouble with. 

"And you don't think we'll be at each other's throats?" He asked, directing the question at Tony.

He snorted. "Asked around, Natasha and Clint agreed to come, Natasha said something about asking Thor." 

"Not Bruce?" Steve quipped, laughing quietly.

Tony ducked his head and Steve almost thought he caught a blush on the other man's face. "I asked him, he said...well I'd rather not repeat what he said. He did say he'd help us train, though, and to learn about the terrains or whatever." 

"Yeah I can see that." Steve admitted. He looked back at the website, looked over the pictures and read the testimonies and what not and handed the StarkPad back. "I...you really think this'll help?" 

"It's better than you living in Bumfuck, Brooklyn and me living in HighTower, Manhattan and us pretending New York is big enough for us to live in some sort of orbit around each other and not noticing the big pink elephant sized problem in the state." Tony pointed out bluntly. "It's something at least. Maybe it's extreme, but..." 

Steve thought it over, thought about going into training for the army, and the Howling Commandos. How they'd camped out in France, Germany, Italy. The experience had brought them closer together, despite their cultural differences and it was a time Steve always looked back at fondly. "I'll do it." He blurted out, interrupting Tony mid comment.

Tony's jaw snapped shut almost audibly and he stared at Steve for several seconds. "Really?" He asked, sounding baffled.

Steve rolled his eyes 'why'd you ask me, if you thought I wouldn't be up for it' on the tip of his tongue, but he choked it back. "Yes, Tony, really." He said instead. "I mean...it seems like it'll be...not fun, but at least some sort of interesting life experience." 

"Yeah, I guess." Tony said. "There's a list of things you have to bring, clothes of course, travel things, you have to provide your own food...Natasha said she'd offer to teach us how to pack food to..."

"I already know how." Steve blurted out and immediately wanted to take it back when he saw the look on Tony's face. "I mean...I'd be glad for her to teach us any sort of modern ways. I'm sure it's easier to do now." 

Tony's shoulders unclenched and Steve silently blew out a breath in relief. "Oh yeah, absolutely, things are way better here in your future, Cap." He rattled off.

"When is the first marathon?" Steve asked.

"Two months." Tony offered.

Steve was taken aback by that, but he'd already committed, so he didn't comment on that. It was a good thing he didn't need to do any training though. "If you need help training..." 

"Thanks, I...may take you up on that. It's not a running marathon, thankfully, you walk it and they give you a week to complete it, so..." Tony rambled. "But yeah, I'm sure I need to work on the whole endurance thing. Can't exactly do it in the Iron Man suit." 

"No, I think that counts as cheating. Pretty sure it'd be frowned upon." Steve joked. He smiled wryly though. "I mean, if you got caught at least." 

Tony eyed him, a spark of mischief in his eyes that made Steve think of the 'old days' of their relationship, back between the Chitauri and Ultron when they'd learned to co-exist, liked each other. "Are you condoning cheating?" 

"I'm not saying cheating." Steve teased, just to extend the moment between them. "I'm just saying sometimes pressing your advantages isn't such a bad thing."

Tony put a hand to his chest. "I feel a little bit scandalized."

"Well then my work here is done." Steve grinned. 

Tony rolled his eyes and pointed at him. "Natasha's first class is in two days."

Steve raised his eyebrows. "You were so sure I'd agree to this?" 

"She was." Tony corrected. "Something about guilt complex." 

"I'll be sure and thank her for that." Steve said wryly. 

Tony grinned and then looked at his watch, some extremely expensive looking silver thing that had no numbers on it, just little diamonds and hands. "Oh crap, I'm late to a thing. Pepper will kill me." 

"How late?" Steve asked curiously.

"I was supposed to be there instead of here." Tony said casually.

Steve laughed at that, unable to help himself. "Go to the thing Tony." 

"See you later, Steve." Tony mock saluted at him and made his way out as casually as he'd made his way in.

"I have a feeling I'm either going to regret this, or it's going to be one of the best things I've ever agreed to do." Steve looked down at Alma who was laying by his thigh. 

"I have a feeling in a strange way it's going to be both." She cracked. He laughed at that, conceding her point to her, and laid back down. He pillowed one arm behind his head and picked his book back up, picking up where he'd left off.

Two days later Steve made his way to Tony's new place in Manhattan. It was, shockingly, a townhouse on the lower east side, in a not so nice area of the city. From what Steve had gleaned, it had belonged to Tony's grandfather, a kindly old man that Tony spoke very fondly of and that Steve was glad Tony had had in his life. Steve was a little nervous about the area, but he knew Tony, so he knew that Tony's townhouse probably had the best security ever via FRIDAY, and that Tony was very well accommodated. He went up to the front door, laughing quietly to himself that the façade of the townhouse was pale yellow with black metal trim and a black balcony on the upper level with a cherry wood door. It was so very Tony. He knocked and waited until Tony let him in. Steve looked around at the interior as they walked and felt like he was in a place out of time. It baffled him and made him feel very off kilter since it was very different from the Tower he knew Tony still had around. They went to a sitting room and Steve saw Natasha sitting in a very comfortable looking antique chair, casually dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Her ocelot daemon, Conall, sat along the upper part of the chair, casually slumped but ever vigilant.

"Ready for a casual stroll, Steve?" Natasha asked, when she saw him. 

"Yeah, it's the new fangled camping that I need to learn up on, actually." Steve said as he sat down across from her. 

"Do you think we'll need to pack some oxygen tanks and a walker for you, old man?" She asked, grinning cutely at him.

"You know, I think I'll pass." He snarked.

"Hey now, don't get to rash." Tony piped up. "Who knows, I may need that walker. I'm off my rocker if I think I'm going to be able to keep up with you all." 

"Don't worry, Stark, I'm sure Thor will carry you on his back." Natasha offered, smirking when Tony looked at her a little baffled and irritated.

"So Thor's coming then?" Steve asked.

"Us three, Clint and Thor." Natasha confirmed. "Bruce still thinks it's a terrible idea, but he's still offering to make sure we're physically up for the challenge. Well us mortals anyway, you and Thor won't have any problems." 

"Hey now, don't do that." Tony scowled at her. He'd produced a small tumbler of something brown from somewhere and was sipping at it. "We all know you and Barton are freaks of nature as well. I'm the odd one out here." 

"This was all your idea." Natasha pointed out, not denying that she and Clint were in superior shape to him.

"I know." He waved a hand. "My ideas tend to either be wonderful or fail spectacularly."

"Let's hope this time it's the former." Steve offered. He looked at Natasha. "And you're helping us learn modern camping stuff?" 

"Yes. Camping on the move." Natasha explained. "And things like how to pack and store meals that will keep you full, give you energy and not make you feel sick coupled with all the physical activity."

"Great, when do we start?" Steve asked.

Natasha grinned at him. "Right now." 

Flying into Nairobi was an experience, and it made Steve pretty nervous. He had a strong urge to 'pop over to Wakanda' as casually as you please, but he didn't know how far it was, plus he didn't want to make things awkward with Tony. He kept in casual touch with Shuri, though and had texted her that he was 'in South Africa for a week' and asked about Bucky, telling her to 'let him know if he was needed' when she gave him a positive update. They'd flown into the city of Windhoek and Steve was charmed by the city. It was a strange mix of tropical almost, Saharan and German settlement. A lot of the older buildings, especially churches, had a gothic revival style, with art nouveau elements and he itched to get out his sketchbook and curl up with Alma for a few hours. 

They settled into the Windhoek Country Club Resort for the one day they'd be there before the marathon, Tony's choice of course, and got together to eat a meal. Thor was exuberant as always, excited for the 'grand adventure' they were going on. He kept up an almost constant chatter throughout dinner, his Holland Lop daemon, Acacia, laying across his lap. Tony kept up with him easily, which left Steve, Natasha and Clint time to mentally prepare themselves. Bruce had been a fountain of information for things, helping them learn more about what they were going to be up against, the entire time his Pied Tamarin daemon, Faigel, had chittered quietly to him if he forgot something. Steve liked the little monkey daemon, she was sweet and kind and easy to talk to, just like Bruce. 

Once dinner was over, everyone went their separate ways, wanting one last night to themselves before they spent a week straight in each other's pockets. Steve went immediately to take a shower once he got to his room. His room was...something else, that's for sure. The walls were painted a nice robin's egg blue, and a bed took up one wall. It was more than big enough for he and Alma and he was happy about that. There was a comfy (not so large) couch in front of the tv and an en suite bathroom. The bathroom blew Steve's mind. The entire room was done in a drop dead gorgeous tan/grey tile that looked like natural rock, or a wood grain almost. It had a double sink with a large mirror in front of it and a massive standing shower with a clear door that had gold filigree on it. On the opposite side of the shower was a huge, deep tub that could probably seat all of them. Alma checked it out while Steve started the shower. She looked so interested in it that Steve ran water in it and once it was filled up he helped her inside it. Once she was settled and 'wanted to soak for a bit' he stripped down and took a nice, long, hot shower, letting the hot water calm his frayed nerves.

When both he and Alma had tired of bathing, Steve got out and wrapped a fluffy towel around his waist. He took another and dried her off really well, dropping a kiss between her copper penny colored eyes, smiling fondly at her. "Thanks for doing this with me, turtledove." 

Alma huffed out a small laugh at the term of endearment and nudged his damp chest gently before padding out of the room. "As if I had any choice." She teased. "This is about you and Tony, it's not about me." She turned her head to look at him. "But for the record, if this helps, I'll do it and more if I need to. I've followed you into worse conditions." 

Steve threw on a pair of 'vintage' blue sleep pants and got into the bed, settling back against the headboard once Alma had made herself comfortable. "That means a lot to me." He said sincerely, putting a hand on her back. 

"Get some sleep, Steve, you'll need the energy tomorrow." She nuzzled against his thigh gently.

Steve slipped under the covers and slid down so he could lay on his side, facing her. "G'night, Alma. I love you." 

"I love you, too, Steve." Alma said and Steve drifted off to sleep.

The next morning Steve got up at the crack of dawn and dug through his clothes, throwing on a pair of comfortable shorts and a soft cotton t-shirt. He'd first made sure to slather sunscreen all over his body (he knew a sunburn wouldn't last too long, but he didn't want to go through it if he had to, plus he knew with his healing factor he would heal and then get sunburned all over again, and that sounded like absolute torture) and then put on some soft, thick, ankle socks and slid in some 'comfort gels' Natasha had suggested to him, along with his sneakers he'd gotten just for this particular activity. He made sure he had some sunglasses and a cap (his favorite dark navy one he wore almost all the time when he wanted to go incognito somewhere) and headed down to meet everyone else at the lobby. 

Tony was there, sitting on a couch, nursing a large travel mug of what Steve knew was coffee. Tomoko was stretched over his feet, and both looked like death warmed over. Tony was in a very expensive looking pair of silk casual pants, and a t-shirt Steve was pretty sure cost more than his entire wardrobe alone. "Morning." Tony muttered when he saw him.

"Good morning." Steve said. "Did you make sure to put on sunscreen?"

"Yes, mother." Tony muttered and Steve bit back a grin at the snarky comment. Tony was even worse with the snark when he was undercaffeinated. Steve (most of the time) found it funny and liked to pick at him just to see how far he could push him before Tony stalked off, muttering obscenities under his breath. "Thor's getting breakfast for him." He gestured vaguely. Steve looked over and saw Thor perusing the pastries, Acacia, his Holland Lop rabbit daemon, tucked into the crook of his arm. The large Asgardian was dressed similarly to Steve, except he wore a sleeveless shirt and his shoes were more like hiking boots than anything. Steve chuckled when he saw a few people in the lobby doing double takes to the oblivious blonde man. 

"I don't know how he can do it, I don't know if it's a good idea to fill up." Steve mused to himself.

"Yeah well try telling him that." Tony snorted, hugging his coffee closer.

"Both of you need at least something in your stomachs. Not anything heavy, but it'll be good for energy." Steve looked up at the new voice, and found a breakfast bar stuffed under his nose. He recognized it as the ones Bruce had fashioned, taking into account Steve's metabolism. He followed it down to where Natasha was standing and looked her over. She had on a garish green tank top that fit her like a glove and soft grey pants, along with some sneakers. Her hair was tied up out of her face and a pair of sunglasses hung between her breasts (not that Steve let his eyes linger there). He took the bar with a smile and bit into it just as he saw Clint. He fought for several seconds not to choke (ignoring Natasha arguing with Tony about eating a breakfast bar himself, Tony arguing that 'all I need is my damn coffee, seriously I don't ever eat breakfast, I get a bad tummy if I do') and swallowed before he spoke. "What the hell are you wearing?" 

Clint was in head to toe an outfit Steve had vaguely seen cyclists wear. He vaguely recalled the material to be called lycra and Clint's was a bright purple with grey and black accents and did very little to hide anything underneath. The only skin Clint had showing was his arms and from just under his knees down to his ankles (plus his face and neck of course). "What?" He asked, blinking. He looked down at himself and back up at Steve. Clint's Oriental Dwarf Kingfisher daemon, Breah, sat primly on his shoulder, fluffing her colorful feathers. 

"All that? Won't you burn up?" Steve asked. 

"No this material is made to breathe, Steve." Clint explained, grinning at him. 

"Plus from the looks of it, he doesn't have a stitch of anything on under it so I'm sure it's just like being naked." Tony quipped snarkily.

Clint pointed at him. "Exactly. I'll get plenty of air. Natasha rubbed me do..." 

"You finish that sentence and I'll feed you to a buffalo." Natasha cut him off. 

Clint made a face. "I'm pretty sure buffalo are vegan." 

"That's ironic." Tony muttered and Steve was pretty sure that didn't make sense, but he shrugged it off anyway. He looked at Clint and mentally shrugged that off as well. Clint was a fully grown man and didn't need Steve nagging at him. 

Thor wandered over, brushing crumbs from his beard and he beamed at them all. "Are we all ready for our valiant excursion?" 

"You speak like that on purpose, don't you?" Tony groused. 

"Maybe." Thor shrugged. 

"We are ready." Natasha answered his question, giving him a fond look. She leaned into him and Steve looked over at Clint who gave him a blank look. "I'm looking forward to it, are you?"

"Of course!" Thor enthused. "The entire deal reminds me of adventures I had with my brothers in arms back in Asgard. Sleeping under the stars, long treks, battle." 

"There's no battle going on this time." Steve felt obligated to say, so Thor didn't go spoiling for a fight (and yes he knew if Bucky were there he'd be on the floor crying with laughter at the irony of that). 

"But we do want to beat the others to the finish, yes?" Thor asked, either missing or ignoring the panicked considering look that Tony was giving him. 

"Thor are you...competitive?" He asked.

He shrugged casually. "I do like to be the best at things whenever possible." He offered.

"Motherfuc..." Tony trailed off. He looked at Steve, probably to see if he was going to get admonished and Steve rolled his eyes. He rued the day he made that stupid comment back before the whole Ultron thing. Mostly because it had been a joke that no one had gotten, but also because he still got teased about it to that day and it irritated Steve.

"Thor it's not about being the best at it, it's about...the experience." He tried to explain. 

"But still, I wouldn't mind not being last." Natasha offered, flashing Steve a small smirk and Steve gave her an unimpressed look right back. 

"Then that's what we shall endeavor to be." Thor announced. "Not last." 

"Yay team, are we ready to go?" Tony asked, seemingly resigned to his fate. 

"We are." They picked up their backpacks and assorted bags and left the hotel. A representative of the company took them to where the first marathon was starting, which was the NamibRand Nature Reserve and they meandered through the crowd to go sign in and make sure they were accounted for. 

"Dear God it's hot out." Tony complained, making a face. "It's a dry heat, too. That seems dangerous." 

"You put on sunscreen, right?" Natasha turned to look at him.

Tony gave her a look. "Did Steve put you up to asking that?" 

"No." Natasha said sincerely, looking at him confusedly. 

"He put on sunscreen." Tomoko promised. "I made sure of it." 

Natasha smiled down at her. "You're really good at looking after him, sweetheart." 

"Always has been." Tony rubbed a hand over Tomoko's back.

They signed in and got tags to put 'somewhere on them or their bags' and walked off to mill around with everyone else. They got a few looks and Steve hoped it wouldn't become a distraction, but no one seemed to really care about their presence and they weren't approached. 

"Have you ever been to a place like this before?" Steve asked, looking over at Thor. Thor was as 'out of time' as he was in this new place and Steve felt a kinship with the Asgardian. He still didn't want to refer to him as a 'god' but to him Thor was just Thor so he didn't need to worry about that.

"Aye." Thor nodded. "Muspelheim, home of Surtur, the fire demon. It is...almost as hot." 

Steve chuckled wryly. "Yeah I bet if it's home to a fire demon then it's not exactly cold." 

Despite the joke probably falling flat, Thor laughed and clapped Steve on the back. 

A representative of the whole thing spoke into a microphone then, set up at the station they'd signed in at and welcomed them to the '2019 Annual 4 Deserts Race Series presented by RacingThePlanet'. Steve ignored the opening speech in favor of stretching and getting ready. He knew everything the man was going on about anyway, having read everything online and in the packet they'd sent when they'd signed up for the race. He looked down at Alma and smiled at her. "Ready for this?" 

"Absolutely." Alma wagged her whole back end, flashing him a doggy smile that he laughed fondly at. He bent and snuggled her to him for a few minutes and stood back up when the guy speaking called for them to begin. A lot of people took off at a 'brusque walk' and Steve almost pitied them. He knew they had to be at the first check in before nightfall, but that was thirteen hours away. 

Tony casually sidled up beside him as they paced themselves (behind Natasha and Thor who were in the front, and in front of Clint who was bringing up the rear). "I thought I was doing the right thing you know." 

Were they doing this already? Steve took a breath and steeled himself. "I'm sure you did." He allowed. "I just think it's unfair that..."

"That I was doing what I thought was best, what a lot of people thought was best, and trying to keep everyone safe, orderly and alive?" Tony cut him off.

"Unfair that you thought you knew what was best for everyone else and instead of bringing us into the policy early on, you basically sprung it on us and tried to pressure us all into signing and threatened us with jail if we didn't." Steve disagreed. 

"That's not how it was." Tony argued.

"That's exactly how it was, Tony." Steve disagreed. He saw Thor turn toward them out of the corner of his eye, and Natasha grabbed Thor's arm and turned him back around, probably quietly explaining to him that Tony and he needed to 'fight it out'. 

Clint, behind them, was quiet and seemingly not even paying attention to them. Steve glanced back at him and saw Clint's hearing aids tucked against his neck and snorted. 

"That's not how...I meant it to be." Tony clenched his fists, staring straight ahead with an irritated look on his face, like it was Steve's fault he 'just wasn't getting it'. "I was trying to keep everyone safe." 

"That may have been your intention, but it wasn't what was going on, especially with Ross involved." Steve shot back. "It was a witch hunt, plain and simple, and trust me, I should know, I went through the biggest one." 

"Did you just compare me to Hitler?" Tony asked, shooting Steve a hurt look before his face shuttered.

"That's not what I meant, I'm sorry." Steve said quietly. "I just don't see how making people trying to save the world sign up with the government to be tracked and controlled at their whim solves anything. Way I see it, if the bad guys show up, we should be able to take them down without trying to go through some government red tape." 

"And who is it that's going to tell us what bad guys we need to step in for?" Tony asked, sounding a little petulant, but Steve ignored the tone. With Tony, it was always less about his tone, and more about the deeper meaning underneath. Steve had forgotten that for a while.

"We made that decision on our own for Ultron." Steve pointed out. "Because you took it upon yourself to..." 

"I was trying to make it so we wouldn't be needed." Tony cut him off.

"So you explained." Steve turned to look at him, giving him a look. "Time and again. But that's not how it turned out, is it?" 

"How was I supposed to know that?" Tony asked, putting a hand on his opposite arm, his face closed off. 

"You claim to be a genius." Steve offered. He knew it was probably a low blow, but Tony hadn't exactly been too mature at times, so he figured he was allowed the barb, even if his stomach clenched at the brief hurt look that came over Tony's face. 

"Yeah well I wanted to make sure none of us had to fly a nuke through a portal and barely get out in time again." Tony offered, and that really did make Steve feel like an ass. 

"Tony..." Steve started.

"Forget it." Tony waved a hand. "I'll allow that it was probably stupid of me to even try and make Ultron, I will admit. But..." He clenched his hands again and Tomoko rubbed against him gently. Tony's hand unclenched and he buried it in her soft looking fur to ground himself. "Flying that nuke into outer space messed me up. A lot. Then after that I had the whole Mandarin thing to deal with..." 

"Why didn't you ask for help with that?" Steve cut him off, but unable to curb his curiosity. 

"I didn't have time." Tony said. "And I...got a little too into myself, I guess." He smiled in a wry sort of way. "Before I knew it, he blew up my place in Malibu, and I was stuck in Tennessee for like...a day before I went down to Florida and...then it was all over." 

Steve could identify with that. The whole thing with Bucky and the helicarriers and finding out SHIELD had been overrun with HYDRA and all had only taken a couple of days at most and never once did he feel like he had time to stop and call in reinforcements. He couldn't exactly blame Tony for that one. 

"After all of that, Ultron was just..." Tony looked down. "It was an idea. It...Ultron never should've happened, but I didn't exactly intend for it to either. I wanted to use Loki's scepter to power Ultron, not to make it so sentient it decided humanity was the problem." 

"Yeah well maybe it should've been beta tested first or something." Steve cracked.

Tony blurted out a startled laugh. "Look at you, knowing things like beta testing." 

Steve reached over and shoved him, but it was a playful gesture and only made Tony stumble a little bit. 

"I was going to, I intended to." Tony replied. "My intentions were to test it out on the one bot, see how things were going and then make more. Like I do with the Iron Man armor. You have to believe that, Steve." 

Steve adjusted the cap on his head and blew out a long sigh. "I do." He admitted. "Really, I do. I know you well enough to know you wouldn't intentionally set a murderbot on the world." 

"Murderbot? Oh God you've been spending too much time with Clint." Tony mocked.

Steve snickered quietly. "What can I say? He's an interesting man." 

"Yeah that he is." Tony looked behind him at Clint and blurted out a laugh. "Oh my God, Barton."

Steve looked back as well, curious as to what gave Tony that reaction and laughed as well. Clint had stripped out of the upper part of his outfit and tied it around his waist, his bare upper body slick with sweat. He was red faced and had a water bottle clutched in his hand he must've fished from his pack. "What happened to breathable fabric, Clint?" 

Clint slipped his hearing aids back in and shot them both a dark look. "Fuck off, the both of you. I'm going to demand my money back when I get back to New York, this thing is like...holding the heat in or something. It's such bullshit, I hate my life right now." 

Steve smirked at him. "I don't know, Clint, I don't know if you'll be able to get your money back on that. I mean, I don't know if they'll take it back covered in ball sweat." 

"My nuts aren't the only thing sweating." Clint promised petulantly. 

"I tried to tell you it was a bad idea." Breah pointed out from where she was buzzing around his head, probably feeding off his emotions and annoyed herself, even though she had no reason to be.

"Yeah, well, I spent like $500 on the entire thing, I wanted my money's worth." Clint pointed out.

Steve gaped at him. "You spent 500 bucks on that?" He gestured to the outfit.

"I got it from a place professional sports people go. Ones that do shit like this all the time." Clint flipped him off. "The quality is what you pay for." 

Tony smirked openly at him, radiating smugness. "Except apparently you flushed all of it down the toilet since you can't even wear the thing." He pointed out. 

"I will kill you and bury you in a sand dune, jackass." Clint promised, pointing at him threateningly. 

Tony rolled his eyes. "Just saying, you got what you paid for, Birdbrain." He replied. "I'm going to go ask Natasha how much further we are to the first check in." He started forward and turned back toward Clint, grinning evilly at him. "By the way, those cyclists who wear those outfits wear them in the colder months when a lot of those things happen, except, of course, the Tour De France, which is in late-May to early-June." 

"Motherfucker!" Clint exclaimed as Tony walked off and Steve howled with laughter at the look on his face. 

A little while later, Clint sidled up to Steve and they walked casually side by side for a few minutes, before Clint piped up. "You know, I get him being fucked up by things." 

Steve did as well, but he looked over at Clint, figuring he had some things to get off his chest. "Yeah?" 

Clint nodded and let Breah alight on his finger as he walked. "Yeah, I mean...Loki and all." 

Steve winced. "How'd you get over that?" 

Clint shot him a wry, sarcastic look. "Who said I'm over it?" 

Steve made a face. "Wait, really?" 

Clint shrugged. "SHIELD teaches you to compartmentalize."

"I don't think all the teaching and training in the world could get me to compartmentalize that." Steve muttered. He ran a hand over his face. "Hell, I'm still fucked up about Bucky being a brainwashed assassin for all these years." 

"I can see where you would be." Clint admitted, shaking his head. "Natasha knows a lot about that. She wasn't really brainwashed, but...well not in the same way Bucky and I were, but..."

"I get it." Steve said quietly. 

"For months after that, I...anytime I closed my eyes, all I saw were the agents from SHIELD that..." Clint trailed off. "They all accused me of killing them, taunted me, called me names. I'd wake up physically sick to my stomach. The worst was Phil..." 

"You can't blame yourself for that, it wasn't your fault, Loki made..." Steve argued.

"Yeah but I was the gun." Clint cut him off calmly.

Steve's words died in his throat and a pain twisted sourly in his stomach. Clint was the gun. Clint had been the gun. Loki may have taken over his mind, but it was Clint who'd done his bidding, it was Clint who had the memories of all the things he'd done under Loki's control, the guilt eating at him because of it. Steve had no doubt in his mind that that was how Bucky felt and he felt the urge to cry. He choked it down though and wiped his face with the neck of his shirt just to distract himself. 

Clint reached out and squeezed Steve's arm, getting his attention. "He'll...well I won't say 'be ok' because quite frankly that's bullshit. I had three days give or take under mind control and I'm still getting over it, and he had...what? 70 some odd years? But he'll find a way to come to terms with it at least."

"I hope you're right." Steve said thickly. 

"I'm always right, Stevie." Clint grinned widely at him and Steve rolled his eyes and debated tripping him just for the hell of it.

When they got to their first camping area, everyone got their tents set up and took turns with everyone else going to the cold shower areas that were set up to rinse the day's sweat off of them. It was a nightmare for Steve, since the area was small and meant for a normal sized person and not someone Steve's size and it gave him a few mild flashbacks to Project Insight and gamma rays, but he pushed them away. 

They'd decided that there being five of them, each of them would handle at least one meal that would feed the five of them, and Natasha and Clint brought an extra meal to cover an extra day since they were experienced with this sort of thing. Steve appreciated it and when he got back to camp (having offered to go last), Clint was setting up everyone with the first meal. It was very simple, but to Steve it was heaven. He'd been munching on protein bars all day, but his stomach was still begging him for a full meal.

They settled down to eat and not much conversation went on, even Thor and Tony were quiet. The day had been pretty uneventful, except for Tony and Steve's and Steve and Clint's talks. Steve had cornered Natasha while Tony had been showering and asked her if Tony had spoken to her about anything and she just said 'nothing like what he did with you'. That was good enough for Steve, so he didn't pry into anything. 

After dinner, everyone was tired so they climbed into their respective tents and settled down for the night. Steve hugged Alma to him and placed a kiss on top of her head. "Good night, Alma. I love you." 

"I love you, too, Steve." Alma said quietly, yawning. Both of them fell asleep soon after. 

The next morning they all got up and ready for the day, choking down a few breakfast bars each. Tony had produced coffee somehow and they each had some. Clint had learned his lesson from the day before and had opted to wear running shorts and a tank top that fit loosely on his body. Once Natasha caught sight of him she dragged him back into his tent and Steve snickered as he listened to Clint's protests as she slathered him down with sunscreen. He came out with a small glob on his nose and Steve caught his eye and gestured to his own nose.

"Damn it, Tasha, I look like I got a cum on my face!" He groused, rubbing at his nose. Tony choked on his coffee, Thor looked confused, but Steve broke down laughing, holding onto his stomach while Clint just gave him a grumpy look.

Thor had taken a page out of Clint's book, except he'd completely forewent a shirt. Natasha tried to get him to let her slather him with sunscreen as well, but Thor had waved her off, proclaiming that the sun's rays 'didn't effect him'. As she turned away, Steve thought Natasha looked slightly disappointed. 

They set off when they were given permission and it went about like it did the day before. Natasha and Thor took up the front and Clint walked with them this time, so Steve and Tony brought up the rear. They walked in companionable silence, except for Tony talking with Tomoko every once in a while. Tony had his phone out and was taking pictures, sending them off to FRIDAY to be kept on a server. Steve vaguely heard him say something about 'putting them on Twitter if Pepper lets me' or something, but he mostly tuned it out. 

"Wanda gave me terrible visions you know." Tony said suddenly. 

Steve's mind stuttered at the suddenness of the statement, and he had to get back on track before he could respond. "She gave us all terrible visions." 

"What were yours?" Tony asked leadingly. Steve normally wouldn't have answered, but he figured maybe this was one of those times where you had to give to Tony to get anything from him, so he steeled himself. "She sent me back in time. I was in a club, back in my day. Peggy was there...said it was the end of the war and we could go home." 

"Rough." Tony said quietly. 

"Yeah it wasn't fun." Steve agreed. He and Wanda had repaired their relationship, and he thought of her as a little sister almost, but he also knew if she ever wanted to, she could really get to him in a bad sort of way. It kept him on his toes to make sure their relationship never soured. 

"She showed me all of us dead." Tony said, again taking Steve off guard.

"Fuck, Tony!" Steve blurted out, staring at him wide eyed. Natasha turned to look at them curiously but Steve gave her what he hoped was a reassuring look that everything was ok. "She really showed you that?" 

"Yeah, fun right?" Tony fiddled with his phone, not looking at Steve. 

"No wonder you made Ultron. I think I would've, too, if that's what happened." Steve said quietly. 

Tony laughed flatly. "Now you understand." He paused briefly and then spoke again. "Loki's sceptor?" 

"Oh God, don't even bring that one up." Steve grunted, making a face. "We all got fucked that day, none of us even realized that he was controlling us with it, trying to amp all our emotions up so Bruce would Hulk out." 

"So you don't think I'm nothing under the Iron Man armor?" Tony glanced over at him too quickly almost for Steve to even catch.

Steve shook his head and let out an exasperated sigh. "Actually I think more of you than you probably think of yourself." 

"Yeah?" Tony asked, sounding unsure about that.

"Remember our fight, us and Bucky?" Steve asked.

Tony looked like he sucked on a lemon. "Have been trying not to, actually." 

"I ripped your face mask off before I ripped the arc reactor out of your suit." Steve pointed out.

"Oh wow this is a real fun walk down memory lane." Tony looked like he was about to sprint ahead so Steve gently grabbed his arm to get his attention. 

"I knew that when I ripped your arc reactor out it would power the suit down." He went on and then quicker when Tony looked ready to pull away. "I knew if I didn't rip your face mask off, it'd kill you if I ripped out the arc reactor. I didn't want to do that, I just wanted...I wanted the fighting to stop. I knew you were angry, I was just...so tired of fighting. I still am." 

He pulled away from Steve and ducked his head. "I don't know what to say to that, thanks I guess?" 

"How would you have reacted?" He asked.

Tony looked up. "What do you mean?" 

"If Rhodey had been forced to be an assassin for a long time." Steve explained. "And you saw him again, your best friend, except he'd been messed with, his brain had been turned to cottage cheese. How would you have reacted?" 

"Rhodey never would've let himself get into that sort of situation." Tony said, just because the thought of his best friend going through that was a very bitter pill to swallow. 

"So think of it in a hypothetical sort of way." Steve deadpanned, rolling his eyes. He reached down to Alma to give him strength and he noted Tony doing the same to Tomoko. Up ahead Thor was regaling Natasha and Clint with tales of Asgard. Natasha looked enthralled, Clint had the zoned out look of someone who'd taken out his hearing aids a long time ago. 

"I probably would've done everything I could to help him, too." Tony said quietly. 

"Exactly." Steve threw out, blowing out a breath.

"What about...what about if Rho..." Tony clenched his hands. "If Rhodey had been sent to kill your parents." 

"It wasn't..." Steve started.

"I know that, but what if you _thought_ it was." Tony bit out in an almost growl that had Steve looking at him with a startled look. 

Steve licked his lips and looked down at the pathway in front of him. "I guess I would've been upset, too. But I would've tried to think about it rationally, and remember that he wasn't himself. I would've tried to see that it wasn't his fault..." 

"Well I'm so sorry I can't think rationally sometimes, Captain Perfect." Tony snarked. 

"I'm not..." Steve snapped and he closed his eyes, growling under his breath. "I'm just being honest, Tony." He grit out through his teeth. He opened his eyes and looked at Tony. "I've been fucked a lot in my life. My old man was an abusive, drunk asshole and I'm glad he's dead. He beat my ma and me more times than I can count. My best friend got used and I had to fight him a few times for his own good, SHIELD has fucked me more times than I can count and for some reason I keep getting sucked back in..." 

"Poor you." Tony muttered.

"So I try to see the good in things, think positively. I try my best to do what I think is right." Steve ignored the jab, because if he didn't, he'd send Tony careening head first into the sand. 

"So what the fuck is so different from me doing what I think is right and you doing what you think is right?" Tony asked, glaring at him.

"When I do what I think is right, I'm doing it on behalf of someone, I'm trying to fight for the people who can't fight for themselves." Steve explained, overly patient. "When you do it, you do it for completely selfish reasons." 

"That's not fair!" Tony complained.

"Yes, Tony, it is fair." Steve jabbed toward him, just because he couldn't hold back. He did stop himself from actually touching Tony, though. "It's fair because here's the difference between us. You got into being Iron Man because of some sense of justice. You went back and mowed down everyone you thought had wronged you and ever since then you haven't done one thing as Iron Man that was completely selfless. Not one. When Stane fucked you over, you did it, again, out of vengeance, to right the wrongs done to you. When the guy with the arm things came up you had to fight him because he stole tech you started. When The Mandarin happened you got pissed off and acted out of hatred and you almost got Pepper killed because of it. Not to mention Ultron. We don't need to rehash that one again." 

"Oh and you never do anything selfishly." Tony mocked.

"I try not to." Steve said sincerely. "You may think I'm a self-righteous jackass, but quite frankly I think you're projecting." 

"What about taking SHIELD down all by yourself? I'm pretty sure Natasha told me you gave Fury no choice in that one." Tony said smugly. 

Steve wanted to wipe the look off his face. "I took down HYDRA because someone had to. If I hadn't, they had a program that would've sent helicarriers out to kill hundreds, if not thousands, of innocent people. You know who was on that list? You and Bruce." 

Tony looked startled at that, briefly. "And what about you going rogue to save your buddy, Bucky and dragging your little friends in with you?" 

"You did the same thing, you self-righteous, dickish motherfucker." Steve growled heatedly. Tony looked taken aback by his language, but Steve was a soldier through and through and he could curse with the best of them. "Don't pin all of that on me. At least I didn't bring a fifteen year old kid into things." 

"I sent him home." Tony pointed out, a reaction more than an actually good argument. By the way he winced, he knew it, too.

"Oh excuse me." Steve said as sarcastically as he was able to. "You sent him home. After you blackmailed him, threatening to tell his aunt about him to get him to do your bidding. After you smuggled him to Germany. After you set him after me and Bucky." 

"Hey neither of you seemed too worried about beating on the kid a little at the time." Tony replied easily.

"We didn't know he was fifteen!" Steve argued. 

"It's not like he's just some kid either." Tony said. "Did you see the way he was throwing things at people? Picking them up...kid can handle himself just fine." 

"Oh my God." Steve ripped the cap off his head and tugged at his hair in frustration. 

"Maybe you shouldn't overestimate just how in trouble Petey was at the time." Tony pointed out.

"Tony. He. Was. Fifteen." Steve said slowly and pointedly. "How emotionally stable were you at fifteen?" 

"I was already out of college." Tony said casually.

"I didn't ask how smart you were at the time." Steve said. "I asked how emotionally stable you were at the time. Although considering the man-child you can still be sometimes, I think that pretty much answers the question." 

"So what? You think Peter...he's smart. He's a smart kid." Tony said, taking up for him.

"I don't doubt that he is, I've been around him, he's very intelligent." Steve said, grasping hard at some semblance of patience. "What I'm saying, is at fifteen no one is emotionally stable, especially not well enough to handle being a superhero." 

"Hey he's doing really well for himself, he took down that Vulture guy." Tony pointed out.

"Yeah after you tried to make him stop being a superhero because you didn't think he was ready to be one." Steve said, since Peter and he had talked at length quite a few times and he and Tony had even spoken a little about Peter as well before, so Steve knew all about it. Peter had been very hurt at the time, and frustrated and Steve had done his best to try and help him see it from Tony's point of view. Or what he'd perceived Tony's point of view to be at the time anyway. 

"I didn't, but he proved me wrong." Tony shrugged a shoulder.

"That's not even my point." Steve sighed.

"What do you want me to do? Stop him from being a superhero? Put an ankle monitor on him that keeps him from fighting low level crime around Queens?" Tony asked sincerely. 

"I seriously wouldn't consider much of anything Peter's gone up against low level anything." Steve cracked. "And no, I don't want that. Besides, you said it yourself, the kid is smart, he'd find some way around it." 

"Probably, yeah." Tony admitted, huffing out a quiet laugh at that. 

Before Steve could say anything else, Natasha lagged behind and stood in between them. "Why don't you two table anymore discussion for today." She suggested. "Steve, go up and walk with Clint and Thor." 

"But..." Steve made a face at the look Natasha gave him and conceded, stepping ahead of them.

"And Steve, eat a breakfast bar, you aren't you when you're hungry." Natasha called out.

Steve snorted and rolled his eyes. "Funny." He called back. He did take out a bar though and chewed on it thoughtfully. He looked over at Clint and nudged him. "Tell me about Budapest."

"Why don't you ask Natasha about Budapest?" Clint replied immediately.

"Because according to the both of you, you both remember it very differently." Steve grinned. "And I'm asking you for your version. I may ask her for her version later on though, if it makes you feel better."

Clint chuckled at that, and Steve was glad for Clint's mostly affable personality right then. He felt himself relaxing immediately. It was nice. "Ok so both of us were on opposite sides back then still." He explained. "We were both sent to Budapest after this dignitary, me to save his life and bring him to SHIELD, Natasha to kill him. Anyway, I..." 

Steve half-listened to Clint tell the story, and let himself get lost in the words. He still felt a little wrung out by everything, but this was certainly helping. When he heard Tony laugh behind them, he knew Natasha was doing the same thing for him, so he felt a little better about things. 

The next couple of days passed by fairly uneventfully. He and Tony didn't get into any really big arguments, and Steve was pretty grateful for that. He thought maybe now that they'd gotten past a lot of the bigger issues between them, that maybe they could just hammer out some of the edges between them now. At least that was his hope. He knew that things were rarely ever that easy, especially with Tony. So really he had to take things as they came and hope that he could say and do the right thing. 

The fourth day of their hike dawned and Natasha nudged Steve as they were getting ready to head out. "You know, he's trying to see things from your side." She offered.

"Yeah? Doesn't feel like it." Steve huffed out a quiet laugh. "Of course, I wonder if I'm seeing things from his side either."

"It's kinda hard to see things from his side sometimes, even when he tells you explicitly what his side is, usually it's so baffling you still can't get it." Natasha pointed out.

Steve laughed and ran a hand over Alma's head when she leaned into his thigh. "Nat, that's mean." 

"It's not mean, it's blunt. I'm Russian, I rarely mince words." She shrugged, rubbing Conall, who was laid across her shoulders. 

He eyed her and rolled his eyes. "How often do you use that excuse? I'm Russian, that's not how we do things in Russia." 

"Does it work?" She asked, flashing him a smirk. 

"Sometimes." He admitted, causing her to laugh. "But only because you're the only Russian I know, even though you're pretty Americanized."

"I've spent my life as a spy, you have to be able to adapt to any situation, including acclimating yourself into another culture." Natasha replied easily.

The start of the race started and he and Natasha picked up their packs and started walking with each other instinctively and he glanced around and saw Tony walking with Clint, while Thor was up ahead of them, obviously smelling the end of the 'competition' even though they still had two more days to go. "Yeah, I guess that's why Fury's never sent me out to do anything like that." 

"That and you're too recognizable." Natasha said. "Everyone knows what Captain America looks like."

"You've been right there with me a lot of the time." Steve looked over at her. "Why does that apply to me and not you?" 

"Because I'm a girl." Natasha did a palms up sort of gesture.

Steve scrunched up his nose. "That seems sort of sexist in a way." 

"It's not sexist." Natasha laughed. "It's the truth. Girls can have different hair lengths, we can dye our hair..." 

Steve looked at her flatly. "Guys can do the same thing." 

"Makeup." Natasha threw out.

Steve snorted. "Guys can do the same thing." He repeated. "And we can grow facial hair if we want, put on glasses, wear hats." 

"Oh yes, your favorite way of going incognito." Natasha teased.

Steve laughed. "Oh shut up." He said, swatting at her lightly. "I've never done it before, and I don't have years of experience like you do." 

"Which is why you don't do that sort of stuff." Natasha practically giggled. 

"People didn't do that sort of stuff back in my day." Steve joked.

"Haven't you ever read about the Cold War?" Natasha asked innocently. 

Steve choked on a laugh. "Oh? You're bringing the Cold War into this?" He asked. "First of all, the Cold War was after I went down in the ice. Second of all, there was no outright spying going on during it." 

"Outright." Natasha said casually, shrugging a shoulder.

Steve eyed her. "Just how old are you, Natasha?" 

"How old do I look?" She shot back, glancing over at him.

"You do that a lot, you know." He huffed.

"Do what?" She asked.

"Answer a question with a question, or dance around actually answering it." He waved a hand. 

"It's what I was taught to do." She laughed quietly. "I don't always mean to. It's just...natural to me, it's easier, sometimes, than baring my soul." 

Steve eyed her. "Twenty questions." He proposed.

Natasha made a face. "What?" 

"Twenty questions." Steve repeated. "You ask me twenty questions about me, I ask you twenty questions about you, we answer...truthfully."

Natasha bristled a bit at the word, and the implication that she wouldn't answer truthfully, but she quickly hid it. "Alright." She said instead. "You go first, since this is your game. Just do not ask me anything classified." 

"I won't." Steve promised sincerely. "What's your favorite meal?" 

"Olivier salad." Natasha said after a little thought.

Steve searched his brain, a thoughtful look on his face. "Potato salad?" 

"Yes, mostly." Natasha said. "Potato, mayonnaise, pickles, hardboiled eggs, carrots, some meat and peas." 

"So it's kinda like a...potato salad mixed with a pot pie." Steve said, trying to think of it in terms that he could understand.

"Sort of." Natasha allowed. "What's your favorite meal?" 

Steve huffed out a laugh and thought it over. "Pizza." He decided. "Any kind. All kinds." 

Natasha eyed him. "It's not apple pie?" 

Steve made a face. "Oh God no. Definitely not apple pie, I hate apple pie." 

"That's un-American, Steve." Natasha grinned.

"It is not." Steve argued. "Apple pie is weird, it's mushy and this weird cloying..." 

"Un-American." Natasha repeated.

"What's one thing you miss about Russia?" Steve asked, just to stop her from teasing him anymore.

"Nothing." Natasha said seriously.

Steve glanced over at her speculatively. "Really?" 

"Really." Natasha said. "I was kidnapped by the Red Room at a very young age, it was basically the only thing I knew before I decided to leave. Going back after that...there are a lot of enemies that come after me. I am not wanted there, so I do not miss it. It does not miss me." 

"Fair enough." Steve agreed.

"What's one thing you miss about your time?" Natasha asked, stepping right on the land mind. Steve would've expected nothing less from her though. 

He thought it over and decided to go with a lighthearted answer. "Bananas." 

"We still have bananas." She gave him a 'what the fuck' sort of look and reached into her pack and grabbed one out, holding it up to him.

He shook his head with a wry smile. "It's not the same, they taste different." 

"How can they taste different?" She asked. "It's still a banana." 

"It just does, it's hard to explain. I still eat them, I still have them. But...not the same." He promised.

Natasha gave him a look like he was crazy and peeled the banana and bit into it. "I like bananas. It was the first food Phil gave me after Clint rescued me from the Red Room." 

"It was?" Steve looked over at her. 

"Mhmm, he didn't have anything else so he gave me a banana." Natasha replied. "He...I think he gave it to me to show that he wasn't trying to poison me." 

"Phil never struck me as the type to poison someone." Steve said quietly.

"I know." Natasha said casually, which made Steve wonder just exactly what she meant by that. 

He knew that she wouldn't answer him though, so he didn't ask about it. "If you could retire to one place in the world, where would it be?" 

"Not many places in the world would be somewhere I could retire and feel like I could relax." She answered.

He shook his head. "Come on, this is a hypothetical thing, don't think about it that hard."

"Alright." She offered. "...I...I guess New York."

"Yeah?" He asked, surprised.

"It has everything I could ever need." She pointed out. "Culture, amazing restaurants, Broadway."

"No beach." He offered.

"Coney Island." She shoved him.

He laughed. "Ok, Coney Island. Yeah, sure. But isn't that where people go now when they're old? They even have a senior living building."

"Why don't you live there again?" She asked cutely.

He shot her a look. 

"Who said I won't retire and go live there when I'm old." She pointed out.

"Ok, I'll give you that." He said. "So Coney Island."

"What about you?" She asked. "Where would you go retire off to?" 

"Aruba." He said immediately. "Beaches, fruity drinks, sun...what more could I want?"

"You know a lot of natural disasters happen around places like that." She replied. 

"So what?" He asked. "I survived being buried in ice for 70 years. What have I got to be worried about with a monsoon or a tsunami or whatever?" 

"Ok so you'd survive, but your beautiful tropical oasis will be forever changed. It won't be so nice and pretty anymore." She said.

"Boy you sure do like to dash the hopes and dreams of people don't you?" He cracked.

"I just like to live rooted in reality." She shrugged.

"Seems to me you like to think too much." He said.

"First I think too much, then I think too little. You are never happy." She said, and Steve glanced over and saw her fighting back a smile. 

"You got me." Steve held his hands up. "I'm not. What's your favorite animal?" 

"Ocelot." She said.

"Come on, take it seriously." He said.

"I am taking it seriously." She argued. "Why do you think Conall settled as he did?" 

Steve looked over at Natasha curiously. "Daemons settle in the form that fits their person best." 

Conall spoke up then. "Not completely true." He moved around so he could face Steve. "Sure, we settle into something that reflects our person, we are the physical representation of their soul of course. But sometimes we settle into something our person will enjoy as well, or what will fit them best."

Steve looked down at Alma. "Is that why you settled as a boerboel?"

"Sort of." She answered. "It was more practicality."

"I can see that." He mused.

"What's your favorite animal?" Natasha asked.

"I don't think I ever had one." Steve answered honestly. "I always wanted a kitten for a pet as a kid though."

"Really?" Natasha eyed him. "I never took you for a cat person." 

"I may be?" Steve said. "I don't know. Mostly I wanted one because they seemed calmer than a dog, and I was stuck in bed a lot. I wanted something I could cuddle with." He flushed. "Allergic though. I was allergic to just about everything." 

"I took the form of a kitten a few times." Alma offered. "Just to make him feel better." 

"A cute little white fluffball." Steve remembered, smiling.


End file.
